Remember, when you were in your 20’s and you were just
living life to live? If you didn't have kids, the response was you have plenty
of time. If you were career hopping, or uncertain of what you wanted to be when
you “grew up”, you were told take your time. You will have your entire life to
focus on your career.
Well not everyone had that advice, but I am sure many can
relate. Almost overnight you hit 30, and
it is no longer acceptable to party Thursday- Sunday.
It’s kind of crazy, that in my 20’s I thought I had it all
figured out. I wasn't actually doing anything to get there; I just figured it
would all come together. I am certain I am not the only one with the same
dilemma. I am no longer being told you have plenty of time. I get the famous, “No kids, you better hurry
up you aren't getting any younger.” I get the side eye when I say I am still
entry level in my career. After all 3 degrees, and what should have been
extensive experience and career development, I should be further ahead than
that RIGHT?
I don’t say all this to self deprecate, and get a bunch of
empty reassurance, but I say this to put out there's a 30’s trap we fall into
and a way we got there. Sometimes just acknowledging you went the wrong direction
can put you back on the right path. So what trap did you fall into?
THE MIRACLE
This is that moment in your life where you achieve spiritual
clarity. Often times in the infancy stage we get a little delusional about how “blessings”
really work. At least I know I did We put no real effort into planning our
own lives; we are spiritually responsible with some false sense of religious
loyalty and then subscribe to the fact that God is going to bless us with
something we didn't actually work for.
Don’t you just love those people who are sitting back
effortless waiting for God to deliver the miracle to their doorstep? When things
go terribly wrong, then they defend their lack of progress with this is a test
from God, or its coming, or the all famous the devil really trying to block
blessings. Great way to take NO responsibility for what we contribute to our
own successes and failures.
When you move from this space you are devastated,
because suddenly you realize I am responsible for my success. There is no
imaginary source out there working to destroy you as you Facebook, instead of
looking for a career. The devil isn’t trying to block you from a husband, but
it’s a small possibility that the guy at the bar too drunk to remember your
name is a good candidate.
DENIAL
I lived here for a while. This is when you actually convince
yourself, you ARE doing everything you can to be successful. Then try to
convince yourself, that since you are doing better than others ALSO doing badly,
that you are actually in a good place. This is when you hear yourself saying
things like, “It could be worse, I know others with less than me.”
Well there
will ALWAYS be people with less, but that’s no reason to not strive for more.
Or to be honest with yourself and say “Hey I need to change my thinking if I
want to be successful” I don’t know one single successful person, who got there
by focusing on being complacent or continually making excuses.
THE EXCUSE MAKER
Don’t you love this type! The one who says I am 30, but I
had a bad life, or the man ....who is this man held me down. The famous of late,
the economy is just so bad. I've even heard God told me this is where I need to
be. Successes still happens in a bad economy, not all successful people were
born with a silver spoon, matter fact, many had bad lives and that was their
drive to be successful so they didn't have to continue to live with less.
The excuse maker will never take responsibility for their
own decisions. It will always be some reason or someone who is responsible for
their lack of success.
THE GUILTY ONE
This is the one I struggle with the most. Although I have been
guilty of each one of these. The guilty one convinces themselves, they actually
DON’T want or deserve more. They feel guilty saying I want to be rich, I want
to be married, I want to have nice things, and I want a big home. Go back to
the religious one, the desire for things makes them feel like they love God
less.
They will actually try to convince themselves that they are
horrendous for even speaking such desires out loud, so they overcompensate by
reassuring people they are NOT materialistic. This is a horrible existence,
because it is a constant internal battle, and you actually sabotage yourself,
so that way the things you want are not even possible.
So which, one are you? I find at 36 people expect me to take
my life goals more seriously. People judge you, by what you have NOT
accomplished. It speaks to your drive. I also believe people are also able to
better separate the talkers from the doers.
I was told the amount of money you
have in your savings account at 40 is very reflective of what you will have
when you retire. If you don’t have a plan in place for retirement, investment
and your overall future in your 30’s you more than likely WON’T ever have one.
What I am learning is you can’t just stop at the degree; you
have to execute a life plan. It’s never too late, but as you get older the
journey gets harder. In the end your success is UP TO YOU.
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