2012 The Year Of Transition

AS WE END OUR YEAR many of us our making New Years resolutions. Some of us are just making plans  to party. Whichever category you fall into the reality is today is the last day of 2012. This was a year of transition for me. So many changes  and major shifts in my life . Some were good, some were bad and some where just different.

JANUARY - The year started out discouraging. My temp job at  All State Insurance had been terminated with no real reason or notice. I was not sure what I would do. I was given a new temp assignment making three dollars  less than the fifteen I was making.  I was sent to an assisted living apartment complex to file. I remember the first  day when lunch came I walked outside and called my fiance and BAWLED ! Was this the reward for all my hard work , schooling and courage to move to a new state with the man I loved? I quickly begin feeling like this was a bad move!

I worked there for a month before getting a call for a job interview at the Women's Crisis and Family Outreach Center. The entire office was cheering me on. They wanted me to get the job. I wanted  the job. I went for two interviews and YES FINALLY I was given the opportunity to work a job in my field. I was excited. In the beginning I didn't want to work the temp job, but while there I met some really great ladies that would soon become friends!

FEBRUARY- Started a new chapter in my life . A NEW JOB I was making MORE than what I made at the temp job who terminated the assignment with no notice in December. It was also much more exciting than evaluating roofing claims. I was back in my element.

I was in the process  of planning a wedding for the following month, decorating a new office and getting to know what seemed like some pretty cool coworkers! Things were officially starting to come together. This was a great time and cause for celebration.

MARCH-  Was  perhaps my biggest transition of all! March 25, 2012 I changed  the last name I had for 34 years ! I became Lynnette Marie Adams , the wife of Dorne Anthony Adams Jr.

The month seemed surreal. I could  not believe the time had finally come. We  took a road  trip to California. I would love to say my wedding was  perfect and everything I imagined it would be.........but that was not the case. California was cold. It was colder in San Diego than both Detroit and Colorado. On my wedding day it rained so hard (that was the only day it rained) that my magical bay side wedding had to be relocated inside to a hotel ballroom to avoid what seemed like a Tsunami.

It was beautiful nonetheless, but I was sad that mother nature had her final say and impeded on my lifelong dream of a wedding off the water, BUT what can I say the groom was handsome the bride was beautiful and Paradise Point Island Resort and Spa was AMAZING! My event planner rocked and the day still was fabulous!!

The hubby and I continued our road trip honeymooning in Los Angeles , dining at Mr. Chows...I don't care what anyone says the food is overpriced. We ended in Las Vegas staying at the wonderful Palms Place hotel. It was even a little cold in Las Vegas in MARCH!!! What was going on????? Either way we  had fun and had to return back to the real world !!

APRIL- Back to the real world ! Both my husband and I had new jobs. The bad news was my NEW husband was starting a job that required him to work the MIDNIGHT SHIFT...great timing right? He was working an hour away from home and I was working in the opposite direction, so where  would our new home be????

MAY- This was a month of adjustment . I was adjusting to my husbands new schedule. I was learning on my job. We were learning each other. WHO SAID...things don't change when you get married? Toward the end of May I got some news I definitely was not expecting. Not even 90 days into being a new wife, my husband informed me his 5 year old would be moving out there FULL TIME making me what??????? A FULL TIME MOTHER!!!!  Talk about scared....I had to do a crash course on becoming a parent to a little person. I read every book I could, Googled sites on parenting. I was not ready!!!! However there were no options and so I had a month to get used to the idea and prepare.

JUNE- We moved into our new place. Our new home was in Highlands Ranch, Co. and my new kid was coming. I had the pleasure  of having my mom and my aunt out to help me get everything together ! All i can say is June was tough. Everything had changed . We had went from a single engaged couple hanging with our couple friends having drinks and staying out late TO being parents , no dates, pg (Pixar) movies and early bedtimes!!! Talk about transition.

JULY-The transition continues! Growing pains, preparing for first grade and learning more on the job. Every life change that could happen ( new job, new state, marriage, children) all happened in a matter of months!

AUGUST- Was the month of hard goodbyes for me. I found out my grandmother was gravely ill. Sadly a day after my 35th birthday I lost my grandmother. I have to admit this is still something very hard for me to digest and deal with. I traveled back home to say good bye to my grandmother one of the hardest flights in my life. One day after returning to Colorado my husbands grandfather died. Back to Detroit we go this time driving me , him and the little one.

SEPTEMBER- Things were starting to get back to normal. I was rocking out at my new job. I had things to look forward to. I was making friends and getting to know my town! I was making my apartment a home. I was room mom so becoming active in school and still trying to adjust to being a wife!

OCTOBER-MY FIRST HALLOWEEN IN COLORADO!!! We took the kid trick or treating with friends, but for the most part October was a quiet month. I was finally adjusting to the shift, and everything seemed to be coming together.

NOVEMBER-Our first Thanksgiving as a married couple! We had my mother in law out and a fabulous meal ! This was definitely an upgrade from last year where I cried on the couch with a smoked sausage while my fiance was at work!

DECEMBER- The final month of 2012!!!  My family packed our bags and headed for a very blended Christmas  in Kentucky.  I will admit it was a different experience. We spent Christmas with my stepdaughters mom and her family, my mother-in-law and brother-in-law, his daughter and my mother, brother and sister. Different people from different phases of life all in one kitchen cooking and celebrating and enjoying the kids rip open their Christmas presents!

Definitely different from the 33 Christmas Eve's with Grandma  and a day of sleeping and eating Christmas Day!

The year is over....was it what I imagined it would be ....NO...but was it a year of challenge,  learning and loving ! I even grew tremendously spiritually I will say that I am truly looking forward to 2013. There were ups and downs in 2012, but I feel that now that this year of transition is over 2013 is going to be an amazing year  of growth. I have a lot to look forward to! And now with babysitting options a lot more plentiful than they were I look forward to a little more dating for the not so new newlyweds!

Happy New Year to everyone!!! I won't be making any resolutions , but I will make a pledge to focus on living healthier, loving life more, having fun in the moment and not being hard on myself when I don't meet all the goals in the time originally planned.   I have declared it MY YEAR....so 2013 is the year  of ALL GOOD.... I'm only welcoming the good in my life and rejecting any negative. I've started my vision book and what I do commit to is when 2013 year end review  comes along it's going to be full of exciting adventures!

ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE OR JUST "RELIGIOUS"

There is no secret that religion is a highly debated topic.  I am not here to debate which religion is the road to salvation, but I am going to suggest that some people subscribe to “religion” as a way to remove any self accountability from their lives. You say you don’t know this person- sure you do!  I had a work associate that constantly came to work drunk and when finally fired …HER RESPONSE was the devil always trying to hold me down. She then proceeded to say God was her provider and this was the devil just trying to discourage her. The idea of her being responsible for this never crossed her mind. Coming to work drunk, being a distraction, performing poorly was never even considered.

I do believe that we are in a position to be blessed. However this blog is not so much about your faith as it is about asking the question are you responsible for YOU? I have always been interested in learning about all religions. I was even told once I was not going to be blessed because I asked too many questions.

In my journey of self discovery, I decided to step away from my constant prayers to God for THINGS….and ask that he give me only knowledge to discern what I needed to do to be a better ME

What caught my eye in my studies were the teachings in Buddhism.  This is not a talk about conversion, but I found the teachings to be very inspiring and eye opening. Their teachings are about looking at and thinking about our own lives. It shows us how to understand ourselves and how to cope with our daily problems. 

The basic teachings of Buddha subscribe to 3 universal truths.

·         Nothing is lost in the Universe

·         Everything changes

·         Law of Cause and Effect

At the end of the day our thoughts and actions determine the kind of life we can have. NOW wonder why I could NEVER find happiness. I thought at one point everything was lost in the universe, I hate change and I would not even subscribe to the law of cause and effect.

YOU MEAN I have to be responsible for my own thoughts and actions. I used to wonder why my prayers seemingly went ignored or unanswered and why I was always getting things I felt I didn’t deserve. WHOA IS ME was my life soundtrack.  NOW DON’T MISUNDERSTAND…there are injustices in the world, but we still get a choice.

I wish I had figured this out in my early 20’s how ever I am elated that I FIGURED IT OUT…some people still don’t get it.   There will be “religious people” who can repeat every bible verse, go to every church service and still be unhappy –no matter what religion…then when they don’t see a positive solution blame it on a spiritual source.  I believe that NO MATTER what religion you should have a daily regimen of self accountability.

I have made a dedication to asking myself at the end of the day what I did today to be a better me. Did I thank the God I pray too for all the positive things he added to my life that day OR did I complain about all the things I don’t have? Did I ask the universe what can I do for you today, did I serve a purpose was I kind and compassionate? OR was I selfish, self seeking an entitled?

We all have a responsibility to give back positive energy to the universe.  I will say this learning to LOVE ME, LIKE ME and APPRECIATE that my mere presence is a beautiful gift has been a hard journey. However learning to love you creates such a wonderful path to loving others. I have been able to appreciate the flaws of others as well as the attributes and the relationships you build from that place are much more rewarding.

I am still on a journey; I am learning that loving God is also loving me and accepting that he made me the way I am for a reason. THIS also means that I must be responsible in making the most of this life and truly enjoying every minute of it. What are you doing to live and enjoy your life to the fullest? What are you doing to be self accountable for the life YOU WANT TO LEAD????

 Self discovery can be very rewarding , but you have to THROW away the box you’re trying to think outside of and ask yourself am I really open to being responsible for me….or is it easier to have something , or someone to blame for every success or failure in life?

The Journey is Never Over

Days 89 & 90 came and went and let me tell you it was a journey!!!!!!.....BUT the journey is far from over. Originally this journey that started as a goal to lose weight became a journey of total self discovery. I didn't lose all the weight I wanted to lose physically, but the spiritual clarity that came with this time I took to focus on Lynn was amazing. 

During this journey I had an opportunity to truly self evaluate my successes and  failures  in losing weight. I wasn't passionate about it and it showed in my results. I wanted it, but I did not pursue it. I had a goal , but I didn't do everything that came along with reaching the goal. I understand now that losing weight is more than just a regimen. You have to completely change your way of thinking.

BE PREPARED not everyone will want you to succeed. Sometimes you may even doubt yourself. These are a few things that may help you along your journey. 

1. You are what you eat LITERALLY..... It helped me when I decided to use the words I CHOOSE to eat this.Those words helped me make better choices.

2.Find people who have like interests. I found I was most motivated when I surrounded myself with friends who wanted to get healthy and work out. People on the same journey together can sometimes be the best motivation.

3. Reward yourself for the successes and resist the urges to punish yourself for the failures. You may not reach your goal the first or the second time. Getting healthy is a life change not a diet plan, or a boot camp.Quick results don't equal long lasting results. TRUST if there was a secret pill or diet that WORKED everyone who wanted to lose weight would be on it.

4. Prepare yourself for a spiritual change. When we choose to change ourselves physically there's a lot of internal change that comes along with that. Understand that everyone in your life won't be supportive of those changes. DON'T let that stop your progress.

I am still determined more than ever to get healthy. It started off with the desire to have  a certain dress. It has evolved into wanting to have a healthy and full life. I have learned on this journey I don't have to be extreme, I can enjoy food and I can even enjoy the gym! So with all that said let the journey continue!!!!!!

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Days 81-88 A DRESS THAT YOU NEED MORE THAN MONEY TO BUY

In this journey I have learned many things . I have learned its not the size it's the look! I also learned that society conditions our mind that if we are not a size 2 there is something wrong with us. I started out wanting to lose 30 pounds. I thought I would look much better at 130 vs 160. I did not do as well as I expected in the weight loss. There are serveral reasons for this one. The first one was  LAZINESS !!! I didn't get serious until mid journey. I was still eating things I shouldn't and not exercising consistently.

When I finally got serious time was not my friend. You really have to be committed to working out and motivated to accomplish your goals. What I realized is to not focus so much on the weight but focus on the "look"  So I decided the look I was going for is the "non- pot -belly" look. With that being said no sugars or STRESS ( now how will I manage that).

I will write on the 90th day and maybe add some sentiment , but this blog is about the DRESS!!! Yes the DRESS.  I go into the store and I just wanted to try on a Herve Lager dress. After all I wanted to see what a $1200 dress felt like on my body!!! Maybe it would give me some incentive to work out more. Well it did !!! BUT not for the reason you think!!!

THIS IS THE DRESS!!!

 

The sales lady was extremely nice. I sympathize with her, her job must be hard OR maybe I should know better. I've tried on dresses before , but this dress!!! It was the perfect red dress and ONE DAY it would be MINE!!! Imagine my heart break when I discovered this dress didn't come in my size !! Apparently Herve Lager does not want women above a certain size wearing this dress!!! So here is my dilemma , do I lose weight to fit the dress ???? (and submit to the smaller is better stereotype) OR.... Do I simply say I refuse to buy a dress that does not support all shapes and sizes!!!

 

Well my decision was to--- LOSE WEIGHT and treat my self ONE DAY to this dress!I know what some may say, but this is how I came to my decision. I am overweight, a potruding tummy does not look good in any dress! So if I work out to become healthier, and more visually appealing ( for myself) then why not treat myself to this beautiful dress.

 

Now I am sure there are look alikes that come in my size. I am also sure this dress probably would not look AS good on me as it will if I just stop trying to find the short cuts and lose the weight ! So here is to hard work, exercise , getting healthy and my RED DRESS!!! 

 

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES!!!

 

Days 60-80 A Revelation

As I come to the end of this journey I've made many discoveries! One-- most of the foods I had to stop eating are bad for me anyway. Two working out and losing weight is not a project it is a lifestyle change. I would love to tell you this was easier than I thought BUT this was harder than I ever imagined.

I have always been relatively small , with little or no discipline in my eating habits. I tried to motivate my self with work out  routines.

I tried mapping a diet out for myself. I thought if I planned  my meals it would be helpful. That worked for about  a week or two. I tried becoming a Herbalife Distributor , that would help me lose weight and become rich! RIGHT?? I tried doing work out classes that were fun. However pole fitness was lot harder than I expected and getting there was just not as easy as a anticpated.

 

I tried talking about it ! That's the solution I will TALK THE WEIGHT OFF !! I tried putting up pictures of what I thought I wanted to look like ! I tried banning myself from shopping till I got to my goal weight...well at least I saved money on shopping this summer!!! Nothing seemed to work. Even the self accountability and knowing the world would KNOW my failure through this blog.

 

I am proud to say our fast food intake in the Adams household has decreased dramatically. I feel better cause I eat better, but I am still at the 160 pounds I was when I started this. A little less bloated, stomach a little flatter due to the decrease in pop intake, but the scale still says 160!

 

I came to day 80 completely frustrated. I did not know the work out's to do on my own. I only wanted to lose 30 pounds , but had lost nothing! I looked at my pictures completely overwhelmed to how I got here and how I would get back on track. There were two things I wanted to focus on in 2012. Health and Finances and here 2012 is ALMOST over.

 

Well day 80 may be the light at the end of the tunnel! My husband called and said hey I know we are trying to reach our goals, but maybe we need to do something different. AND that was how I came to know of Orange Theory Fitness!



 

So apparently how it works is you go to the gym and it is set up as group fitness! So NO MORE standing at the treadmill pretending I know what to do! Everyone works out in a group almost like an everyday boot camp AND you can bring the kid SO NO EXCUSES!!!

 

So why will this work when nothing else has? Well one it's something that we can get excited about as an entire family. I also work well in group settings such as this. What's even better is it is walking distance from home. I have gotten kind of excited about the whole thing! So we shall see ! My husband and I thought we would both see what it is about. I am going to take advantage of the one week FREE pass first, but it's awesome to see my husband excited about getting healthy with me. Here is to a journey coming to an end and although I didn't reach my anticpated goals I am excited  to see what happens on my next journey! After all life is a journey gotta keep it exciting!

 

Days 52-63 I'M ALLERGIC TO WHAT!!!!

This journey has been one heck of a ride. I have gone through depression, caffeine withdrawals and weird food cravings. I am proud to say I have been more active than I had discussed in my last post. The craziest part of this journey is I have started developing allergies !!! I was already allergic to tomatoes, but over the past couple of months I have apparently developed an allergy to ALL things citrus and CHOCOLATE!!!!

It was almost as if the diet Gods were like if she can't stop eating the things she loves we will make her allergic to them. I am hoping this is temporary, but apparently when making major changes in your diet your body can develop and intolerance to certain foods. At first the limitations were incredibly depressing, however I have decided to have fun with the possibilities. Instead of looking at the negative.......no pizza, spaghetti, lemonade, chocolate, etc.... I have decided to find creative recipes to make food fun again.

As a result of my new restrictions I have lost 5 pounds!!!! GO FIGURE!!! I am already starting to feel less bloated, and less tired throughout the day. Leads me to wonder if all that crap is good for you anyway. I will admit the chocolate has been the hardest adjustment AFTER ALL I love my midday thin mint fix.  Good news is with all the foods I am not supposed to have removed from my system I have been hive free for about a week now!!!

Well I am going to keep it short this time around !!! I think a suitable award when I reach my goal weight is a new wardrobe . I would have gone with a nice piece of chocolate cake, but we can't have me getting sick now can we!!! 

Days 21-51 = 30 Days What Happened?

Well needless to say the last 30 days have been a bust. I am rather disappointed.  I started out with excitement and motivation and then slowly fizzled into busy days and lack of motivation and excitement. August I will name the month of emotion. The month of August originally what was to be a month of celebration, became a month of good byes.

My grandmother was sick and hospitalized. Her body decided to take it's final rest just one day after my birthday August 17, 2012. Just two weeks later my husband also lost his grandfather. With all the stress of the unknown, adjusting to back to school for a 1st grader, full time job and being a wife somewhere working out fell through the cracks!

I guess when I named this blog life is a journey it could not have been more accurate. What I've learned 51 days into this journey is YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT LIFE IS GOING TO HAND YOU!

I have learned so much in just a short time, even though I have not reached the goals I'd hoped for. There has been progress however !!! We have cut down our fast food intake. Cooking has become fun for me. I am learning new ways to enjoy food and to eat ONLY when I am hungry. I have also learned not to let stress dictate my appetite. Not quite what I hoped for, but progress is progress.

I have 26 pounds to lose to reach my goal weight. I am determined to meet that goal . It may take a little more time than I expected. However I am getting back on the wagon slowly . I will start by doing a little walking everyday. Spending some time and energy in my little balcony garden. I will also work on getting the family active. What better way can you show your family that you love them than getting healthy TOGETHER !

I won't go as far as to call my workout plan a success. However I will say the growth I've had mentally and emotionally in this time has been amazing!!! I have learned that although things won't always go the way you want them to go instead of focusing on the negative you can simply focus on the positives. I have also learned that in you will not always get the support you expect when you grow . I have embraced the reality that is OK to outgrow friends, jobs, situations etc.

So I still have a little under 40 days to bring it back !! Or  start it up WHATEVER! I expect that by the end of these 90 days I am going to have several exciting things to report INCLUDING the desired weight loss.

Days 16-20 I NEED MY MOJO!!!

Hello ALL!!!

SO here is my issue, I seem to have lost my mojo. A week long conference and two early morning events zapped my desire to head to the gym. ALL IS NOT LOST I have been very active. A day at the beach, running around and two golf tournaments. I have not been a couch potato that is for sure!!! I need to get back to the gym however. I thought about some out door running , but the heat has scared me from even trying.

My husband and I had an awesome revelation. At one point we had gotten so lazy we had a Chic-fil-a ,  Burger King, Pizza rotation. From a week before the wedding till probably June we ate fast food everyday! That has definitely changed. We rarely eat fast food, and have been committed to cooking healthy meals everyday. I believe the life change has given me something to be proud of much more than my ability to go the gym 4 times a week. I know I have to do more, but I am realizing that I am making changes that will last.

My goal this week is to get my husband on board. I think it would be great if the family  could get active together. Sooooooo what activity could we do as a family??? Guess I have some thinking to do! Catch you guys next blog!!!

Emotional Prison

Just recently I posted on status that you have the opportunity to turn your mess to a message.  Often times we look at someone and we think we have them ALL figured out. We have those people we dislike, the people we love, the people we envy and the people we admire. We sometimes forget that each of those people come with a story that makes them unique. That makes them flawed and that makes them human.

I remember the very first day I let someone define me. I was 5 and I can't remember her name , but I remember the incident. There was a little girl that lived a couple doors down and we played together all the time.  This particular day we were playing with our dolls and putting beads in their hair. Suddenly she looked in this canister full of beads and said YOU STOLE SOME OF MY BEADS!!! I am not really sure how she determined that, but she was adamant that I had stolen something that belonged to her. She stated she did not like me and would not be my friend anymore.  I was devastated and I believe that is the first day I started believing I was unlikeable.

As I went through life I struggled to connect with people. Even though I was charming, people said  they liked me I really believed it was all a lie. Who could like me? I grew to hate myself and all the bad things about me said by mean hateful people, or lets face it kids just being kids I believed it ! The bad stuff was much easier to believe. When people said good things I was furious at the thought that they would lie and try to trick me into thinking I was worthy.

I hated myself. I was skinny, the boys did not seem to like me and I was frustrated that I was never one of the POPULAR girls.  At one point people would spread rumors about me that were NOT EVEN TRUE, but in some twisted way I did not defend myself because I was just glad people knew who I was.

As I grew older this self hatred of sorts, turned into self sabotage. Every potential for success I somehow adverted it. I did not go into acting even though it was my passion, because I told myself I would never make it anyway. I did not become a reporter and I convinced myself I was no where pretty enough  to be on television. I convinced myself even though I have two Masters levels degrees that I somehow cheated my way through school and I was not valuable enough to have a real career.  I even tried to sabotage my marriage before we said I do, because I was convinced no one would actually go through with marrying me.

To support these beliefs I aligned myself with some of the most toxic people. I kept a friendship for two decades even though she constantly proved she was not a friend because she had convinced me no one but her really liked me. She even tried to convince me that my husband moved of state to get away from me. GREAT FRIEND right? Every single failure in my life just served as confirmation of what I believed I was worthless and I was never going to be more than what I was no matter how hard I tried so WHY BOTHER?

I started living a double life . One where I was constantly self deprecating myself and another where I created all these surface relationships that gave people the illusion I was confident. I had imprisoned myself in my own destructive thoughts. Honestly no one has ever even supported them I have been told quite the opposite by the people who should have mattered.

I allowed ALL of my experiences to negatively impact me. So the truth is I did not give myself the chance to learn much. I self prophesied most of my failures. I willed them into existence. This kinda hatred generates anger, and my expectations of people were much too high. If they disappointed me I shut down. If they talked about me I blew up. I became known for my outbursts and it was something to this day I am not proud of. Every time someone criticized me it became my truth.

Up until recently all of my decisions have been fear-based. I probably have missed out on a lot of great things for fear of failure. It was easier to not try than to either fail or succeed and be held accountable for maintaining that image. So why the blog what's the point you ask? Well sometimes making yourself vulnerable allowing people to see side of you that you have kept hidden gives you insurmountable power.

I have lived in a prison of self hatred for 34 years and refused to turn 35 feeling the same way. There are so many ways to use your voice, I choose to speak of what was as a way to say NOW you have said it move on. What I have learned over the years are some  very valuable lessons. You can have a reasonable dispute and maintain a relationship. It is OK to let go of "friends" once you have outgrown each other. It is OK to fail because even failure is success.

The good part to all of this is even though I gave up , I am blessed that the Universe did not give up on me. This means I always have a chance to change my view of the world and leave the footprint I was meant to leave. I started this with you never know a persons story. The funny part of it all is now that I see the world the way I should have always seen it, It is so much I want to do. It is almost a rush to the finish line. It is refreshing at this point to hear what people have to say about me good or bad and walk away and say their opinion does not define me AND ACTUALLY BELIEVE IT.

This blog was inspired by someone that said I wish I could be like you, you're always happy , your so successful you have an amazing spirit. I thought at the time BOY DO THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME!!  However I now realize that you can be an inspiration to others  even when you can not inspire yourself. Your message won't apply for all, but for many it will. I am glad the world knocked me down so many times, one of those falls must have knocked some sense into me. I named my blog Lynne The Dreamer, because I believe that if you dream you always have something exciting to look forward to. It looks like a lot more than losing weight is happening for me on this 90 day Journey!!!

Days 5 & 6 & 7 Body Rest and the Case of the Forgotten Lunch

In this beginning of this journey I prepared myself for a couple realities. Every day would not be easy, and every day would not be a success. I did not expect that reality to come to life in Days 5&6. Day 5 my body was really dealing with the residual of the pole fitness class! The day was not all wasted spent some time on the mental workout. I allowed myself to take a break WITHOUT beating myself up.

I also realized that a healthier life is not all about the work out. It is about enjoying the moment you are in. I did exactly that On Sunday Day 5. The Adams household decided to take a field trip!!! Where to you ask??? In this heat the MOVIES OF COURSE!!!! The day lead to a split decision on the moral behind Brave and a trip to Walmart. Nothing like a easy breezy day to make the day awesome. That means I should have been completely ready for Day 6 Riighhhhhtttt?

Day 6 came with errand running, and a trip to the most prestigious school in Denver for the little one !!! Does walking around the huge campus count as a work out? I will be proud to say that the lil one is AS smart as we thought. They thought she was a perfect fit for the school! However the $16,000 yearly tuition made us feel a little different.

The intent was to come home and work out, but things did not quite work out that way. The plants did not get watered, exercise did not happen. I didn't eat horrible , but the couch was my home till bed called me. NO WORRIES though tonight DAY 7 I am back on my work out plan and I can't wait to tell you all about it!!!!
Baked Chicken , Spinach  and water already is making today a great success. Tomorrow let's try not to miss breakfast and lunch though!!!

Day 3 & 4 A Lil Magic and a Date With A Pole

Hello all!!! The past few days have most definitely been active. I am truly enjoying this journey. As I said in earlier posts this is about so MUCH MORE than losing weight. This all started a few weeks ago when I realized I truly did not like the way I looked in my  clothes. However I realized that it was more than just shedding the pounds it was about having a positive body image. When we have a healthy body image our mind and body work together as a team to support us in our daily lives.

What we see in the mirror is not always accurate. Often times our negative image of ourselves is distorted. Changing  how we physically look can not only help us feel better about our bodies, but focusing on having a healthier body image will help us to have a connection with the body and the mind. Simply starting to take walks can make you feel better , and increase energy levels. IN ADDITION it's a great way to clear your head and IT'S FREE!!

In addition to exercise changing our diet can have a huge impact on how we feel. My personal goal is to treat my body with a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T.  I will not force it to process unhealthy products such as large amounts of fats and excessive sweets. I will focus on getting the sufficient amount of sleep and I will set reasonable goals for myself.

WITH THAT SAID  LET'S TALK ABOUT DAY 3 & 4 !!

By day 3 my body was pretty sore! I thought this would be a good day to take a break. So I decided to have a Girls Night Out. Nothing better than a little MAGIC to help you relax!!! We went to see Magic Mike and I admit I did make a few unhealthy eating decisions. It's something about that movie theater popcorn that get's me every time. I did not indulge though instead of having the medium drink with free refills and a popcorn to myself, the three of us decided to share that. I am already on the road to understanding the whole moderation thing. ( So that's what those mini cups are for lol!)

Day 4 WELL that was a different beast. With moving to Denver along came some other things HAIR LOSS.  My hair has always been something I was proud of , so with it barely here now I have been feeling a little UNSEXY.  Day 4 was centered around finding an activity that would make me feel sexy. I looked at the gym agenda and first thought was ZUMBA!!!! then I looked right below it and saw Date With a Pole a pole fitness class.  

My idea behind this was I would take it easy on my body on day #4 and have a little fun. BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!!! I got into class and it did everything but make me feel sexy, but I had tons of fun. That work out was amazing and I never realized how hard the whole pole thing really was . Apparently its purpose is for so much more than adult entertainment. It is a work out, people compete, this is pretty serious business. At the end of the class I got much more of a work out than I expected. 

Today is Day #5 I already have more energy. I am hoping my body will get used to the work outs and not be so sore. I think today I will do just a little cardio on the treadmill and not push myself. I am determined to replace this pouch with a six pack!! Most importantly by the end of this journey I hope I learn how to truly respect my body for where it is no matter what the scale says ! Here is to a healthier mind and healthier body! Yayyyy Me.

IT WAS MEANT TO BE!!!

SO as most of you know 3 days ago I started a 90 day challenge! With NONE OTHER than MYSELF!
Today I go on Facebook and I see a simple 90 day challenge!!!! How exciting is that? So just in case you are wondering why I have decided to blog this journey let me tell you. I have never really struggled with weight. For most of my life I was a size 2. In my late 20's things took a turn and I begin to gain weight. I will be honest at first it was exciting for the first time in my life I had  CURVES !!!

Things got  harder as the weight begin to distribute in some unflattering places. I would work out, but my microwave mentality ( the need for immediate results) would get me to quit every time. One day I was complaining to my husband (he is awesome by the way) and he simply looked at me and said, "I think your beautiful. Could you shed some pounds SURE... can't we all , but you telling me you want to lose weight is not going to magically shed the pounds. If you want to lose weight WORK OUT!!!" So here I am making excuses about all the reasons that I did not have time to take care of my body ( and why I didn't want to give up my trips to the Cheesecake Factory) and it hit me!  HE'S RIGHT If I want to see change I have to change it !!!!  No more complaining , calling in tears from the fitting room at the end of the dressing room cause nothing fits right. No more self deprecating statements. It was time to be responsible for the change I wanted to see in my life.

For weeks I told myself I would start tomorrow without making an honest effort to do anything. Finally I said ENOUGH. Start something ANYTHING. Every day find a way to be active so for the past 2 days I have done that and I am in CAN'T STOP , WON'T STOP mode. My goal is to take the 90 days to focus on myself physically , spiritually and mentally. This means being conscious about the things I make a CHOICE to eat. The negativity I ALLOW to come out my mouth and lastly the physical transformation of my body. So for 90 days I will work out, speak a victory every day ( not in a conceited way) and spread this positive energy to all my lovely F'bookers that want it! I am accountable for me! Not a trainer, not a work out buddy but me! I think at the end of these 90 days I will have accomplished so much more than losing my desired weight!!!! So the QUESTION IS 

WHO WANT'S TO JOIN IN THE FUN.... are you on for the 90 day challenge? 

DAY 2 !! Date with a Treadmill

We are on day #2!! I will say it went much better than day #1! I don't know if I am taking the right approach to this, but I am using the first week or two to focus on what I can accomplish. I will focus on pushing myself once I get into the routine of getting in the gym. I have to say I am satisfied with the progress of today. Yesterday was a walk around the track today was an hour in the gym.

I have to admit while rap is usually not my Pandora of choice a little Wocka Flocka and Lil Wayne go along way to get you hype in the gym.The picture of my preferred beach body on the treadmill helped a little too! I was proud that I did 30 minutes on the treadmill. I also dedicated 30 minutes to legs and abs today. Must admit YA GIRL gotta little over zealous and tried to add more crunches and push ups when I got home.  That was not as successful. I feel comfortable saying that Day #2 was a success.

 I decided on a 90 day transformation. I don't have a lot to work on, but I have to be dedicated to it with Day #2 behind me I am ready to embark on ya know it!!!! DAY #3 !!!!

3 days down 87 days to go! I CAN DO THIS!!!!

Day 1 : Operation Flat Tummy

SO yesterday I decided , I would start my exercise plan , by  just doing something.  I got tired of making excuses and I realized if I wanted to lose weight I would have to work at it. The key I found is to do something you enjoy if it feels like work I won't do it! I also realized I had to set realistic goals or I would fail and become discouraged. So for DAY 1 I set the commitment to do SOMETHING every day. Walk, aerobics, swim but something. I also made the commitment to drink 64oz of water every day and cut out the sugary drinks. Well yesterday I did not get to do much, but I did walk around the track for 30 minutes, and start my water regimen. Lets say see what happens with day 2!

My Hair Journey

I've always loved my hair. I could do anything with it! I could dye it , perm it , cut it , curl it and it would still grow. I could wear a multitude of styles and look great in all of them. I loved my hair it was thick and healthy and was the perfect accessory. Well that all ended when I came to Colorado. When I first got here my hair was shoulder length, reddish blond. It was beautiful and soft without a relaxer. I could wear it curly or flat iron without pressing for a finished look.

It started with minor breakage and the inability to find a good black stylist that knew how to work with natural hair. I was told I needed to dye it black because the air was so dry and the blond would not work well with it SO off to the store I go. I dyed my hair back black! My hair has not been its natural color since high school! So while I'm adjusting to my darker hair I try some different styles , hoping to find something cute but manageable. Every style seemed like it would work at first , and then a few weeks later back to the dryness and breakage. I have spent hundreds on conditioners. I have walked in salons to walk out brokenhearted. I did finally find a few good stylists , but at this point the damage had been done! I was officially a short haired chick!!!

In Detroit , it was reasonable to go every two weeks, but here the styles do not seem to last. My hair has always been a source of confidence for me ....confidence that is diminishing daily. So upon the suggestion of a friend I have decided to start a blog of the THE JOURNEY!!! The journey back to healthy LONG beautiful hair. I have learned one thing conditioning is key. Some things will make it look great cosmetically but add no health value to it. I have posted a picture that shows a year of "styles" for me. The first picture is from memorial day weekend 2011 and the last is where I am now. I know it is not going to be overnight and having patience is harder than I thought. I also know that I am going to be faced with the wicked  middle stage of growth. Hopefully I can get people to jump on this blog and give advice and share their hair horror stories.

Below are 11 pictures . From long and healthy, to trim, to major breakage. Then there is going back to black to more breakage, to short , shorter , shortest and a overall H.A.M. !!! Lord help me on this journey! It will be something to celebrate when my hair can once again become my best accessory.

Life is a Journey

2011 held many surprises.  I had no idea all the twists and turns it would have. The year started out amazing WELL actually let me be truthful it started out amazing shifted to horrible and quickly went back to amazing. I was working at the bank and unhappy with the management practices, and my progression . I decided it was  time  make a change. I would cry every morning before entering the building and I knew hey this is not the job for me anymore.

I had already applied to a new job and I was praying on EVERYTHING that it would come through . It took almost a month but the call came. I was sitting in my miserable cubicle with my cell phone in drawer and stopped all my activities and said God please get me out of here!!! That very moment a  call came with a job offer!!!!, MY DREAM JOB, the job that was going to set me on a path to do the things I truly loved. It was a much smaller company, benefits did not even compare but it was worth it !!!!

January 28th , was the start of what seemed like a fairy tale. I went from a cubicle to a downtown office with a water view. Amazing coworker AMAZING BOSS who actually trusted me to do my job and do it well!! Although work was hard, constant and demanding sometimes beyond stressful I enjoyed every minute of it. There were some ups and downs , but it was all good . Life was good , money was good, I was getting married in 2011 and I asked what did I put in the universe to get it THIS GOOD?

 

Well life has a way of changing fast on you!!! My fiance suddenly had to transfer to a new state , I loved my new job and did not want to leave, I did not think I would ever get a better boss she was honest, funny, and although she did not dish out a WHOLE lot of compliments she had on her own way of letting you know you did a great job. I felt good about what I did and I did not want to give that up. With that I decided to stay behind just for a while praying and hoping something would change and he would come home. That is when the stress began!!!

So wedding postponed and the realization that I HAD TO LEAVE set it in. I made the plans things were so different than just earlier that year. I had to go to a place where I had no friends, knew no one ,had no job, and things started getting stressful really fast. 

 

I have met some really cool people since I have been here, love the night life and I am slowly finding my way. I still have failed to find a permanent job, but now I am thinking outside of the box. Trying to find a way to get back to doing what I love for money of course!!!! Since I have been here there as been a lot of tears and frustration, but also a lot of hope and opportunity to restructure who I want to be. It is a journey and life is a journey. Sometimes we fail , sometimes we struggle, but success is always certain to come if you just keep trying. 

Well 2012 is here!!!! It has not started like me the dreamer imagined !! I do believe that it will get better though. I know that there is a special blessing in the universe with my name on it. So here is to 2012, March 25th (my wedding day) and new beginnings. The wonderful thing is I don't have to do it alone I have my best friend behind me, my friends to encourage me, and my faith to inspire me.