Cancel Your Subscription

I was challenged to think of one thing I was holding on to that no longer served any purpose.  We all have those things right? A time in our life that we seem to reflect on, and wish it could have been different. We let that one moment define us. We use it as a platform for future failures. We have that one notion we subscribe to that motivates all of our decisions and fuels our excuses. Well today I decided to cancel my subscription!

Let me tell you about the day I hold on to. I remember it vividly…too vividly to be 35 years old. I was a senior in high school. I wasn't popular, but I wasn't unpopular either –or so I thought. I have great memories of high school and not so great ones, but what I remember most was the day I realized I would be dateless for senior prom. I believe that is a girl’s worst nightmare not to be asked.  IT WAS MY REALITY! Not a single person asked and when I realized maybe I should ask -even the nerds had a date. Total bummer, I felt like such a loser. How ugly do you have to be to not get asked to prom?

Well my mom tried to make it better; she got a co-worker to get his nephew to take me to prom. Side-note parents NEVER DO THIS! I felt like such a loser, my mom had to get me a prom date! He was cute though and we met a few weeks before, so we kind of started dating so it seemed SLIGHTLY real …NOT! In the end a few girl friends and my recruited prom escort decided to go together. No fancy car, no real date I truly was only going because people said I would regret it forever if I didn't. Well I am glad I went in the end. Wasn't the best prom, but hey memories are memories. Who knew that night I would be subscribing to my most expensive subscription to date.

That night I left prom with the belief I AM NOT WORTHY. No one likes me, not even enough to spend a couple hours with me. Self –Esteem was already not my high area, but this just sealed the notion that I was undesirable, unworthy and all around not worth noticing.  I didn't even self –reflect I just decided to keep myself safe from rejection from that point forward.

This idea of worthiness /unworthiness has cost me much more than a night without a date for senior prom. I went through life never TRYING for anything, because all I could see is rejection. Any opportunity that came before me, I passed up because I was certain someone out there was more suited than me for it. Why risk it. This has cost me a lot. I am sure there are others out there that can totally relate to the unnecessary subscriptions we take on in our lives.

So here is the deal why blog about it, why let people know all these intimate parts of my life? WELL …pretty simple. If I have all these experiences, ups and downs, highs and lows and don’t share them then what was the point? 

The only return on investment I can get from subscribing to the ridiculous notion that I am unworthy because I was not asked to prom, is to provide encouragement to someone else. SO what subscription can you cancel today? I no longer subscribe to the notion that I am unworthy. I am plenty worthy, and well loved.  Learning to love where you are, and where you are not is probably my most amazing accomplishment.  So who else is cancelling their subscription?

Finish What You Started: Notes From The Diary of a Serial Quitter

My life has a similar pattern in almost everything that I do. I quit.  If I start working out and don’t see results in a month I quit. If I try a diet and I get too hungry in a few days I quit.  If a job isn't working out the way I planned it to I quit. When life isn't being kind sometimes I just retreat to a dark place and say I QUIT.

Reality is, I quit because the thought of failing or not reaching my goal was much scarier to me than trying – not the best solution- but that is how I have learned to handle life.  What I have learned in the success that snuck through my habitual quitting is that if it was easy, everyone would have it.

So this leads to my newest journey. When I first heard about Game Changers Boot Camp, I came up with every excuse as to why it wouldn't work for me. Now before I say this in no ways am I trying to slam anyone’s hustle. This is about MY JOURNEY.

I looked for every short cut I could to avoid changing my life style. Shakes, wraps, extreme diets, pills, prayer, and the flu anything that would help me get to my goal weight. Of course this microwave mentality didn't get me far. 

We all want it NOW with minimal effort to get it. Have you ever had micro waved chicken? I promise you can do it and it is edible and fast. However we all can agree it will never taste as good as the properly seasoned, marinated grilled piece that took some time to prepare.

This is the same theory with our bodies.  Quality results take time. I am no expert on exercise I am simply an overweight girl who has ran out of short cuts and finally had to take accountability and control of my choices.  I don’t know it all because I have been in the gym for two weeks. What I do know is I am not quitting. I have a boot camp, yoga, some summer hikes and a 5k in my future.

I learned there is no magic solution. The solutions are getting out of your bed, working out and making healthy eating choices.  My body deserves my best.  So what does a person who has quit for 35 years do? Well I have decided to quit again, but this time I am going to quit, quitting. 

I am excited to see the results and I PROMISE in this wordy blog to reward my readers with a picture before and after when it is all done.  If you are already on track and you know what to do this blog isn't for you. However if you are an excuse maker  like me and overwhelmed with life’s curve balls then this might serve as an inspiration to you. 

I am excited to see what the next 3 months hold……quitting or no quitting I pledge to make my before and after my FACEBOOK profile picture on my birthday August 16. TALK ABOUT PRESSURE!!! So to my quitters, shortcut seekers and discouraged ones if I can do this you can to you just have to CHANGE THE GAME!

IF you are in Colorado I have that solution, best decision I made in my life and I am going to finish what I started.

Visit http://gamechangersbootcamp.com/ to learn more about the Game Changers Boot Camp I promise you will be happy you clicked on the link and enrolled in the class.

" Every journey begins with a single step, but you will never finish if you don't start"

I Customized My Blog!

Nothing special going on here today, other than I just figured out how to customize  my blog! I won't be applying to any high tech design companies soon, but I am pretty proud of this accomplishment. Now I have to get back to writing of course. As I always say life is a journey...today I guess an educational one.

Doing IT the Right Way Wrong.

For as long as I can remember, I was always told... go to school, get a degree and you will get a job. It seemed like a fail proof formula. Do it the right way and you will get the right results. So of course I took that journey. Along this journey I discovered a few things.
(1)There is no "fail proof" way to get on the success train.
(2) Life owes you nothing
(3) Nothing in life happens TO you

I hold multiple degrees and I have found it hard to find employment that is commensurate with the sweat equity put into getting those degrees. So can you expect another blog detailing how hard it is out here for the educated, multiple degree holders -- NOT TODAY -- today is about self accountability.

I recently started asking myself questions. Have you done everything you can to see the success you want to see? Did you make smart business decisions, or emotionally driven ones. Did I ask for promotions / raises when I felt I deserved them, and had the tangible results to support the request? Did I maximize all my opportunities?

It is often easy to complain about our lack of success and what holds us back vs. being accountable for the lack of effort we've put into writing the chapters of our lives. Realizing you are in control is a powerful tool. Of course there are injustices in the world. No one said life was easy -- we all have a story to tell-- however easy or hard it's your life to make of it what you can.

So what do you do when you grow up and discover you wasted a lot of time trying to figure out what you wanted to do instead of just doing it? Well life is all about second chances. Every day you wake up is an additional opportunity you have to reinvent yourself. Your degree not working out for you? Consider a career that will fulfill you. THERE IS NO RULE about career changing.

Do you have a dream you don't want to give up on, but you are not yielding any results? Well dream bigger and dream harder. Stop being ORDINARY, everyone is trying to get their foot through the door, try jumping through the window and yelling I'M HERE NOW LET'S DO THIS!!.... You know not to take that last piece of advice literally right????

I know I know who am I to tell you how to walk your path? Well this is advice from the chronically discouraged! I've had a million you cant's, you shouldn't , and even more you're insane handed down to me. I refuse to stop dreaming, why cause a person without a dream isn't much a of person at all. However dreams will remain dreams, unless you put them into action.

The only person who can truly get in your way is YOU-- so with that said-- LET'S DO THIS!!!! Don't matter how you start just start. If you find yourself going the wrong way on a one street, the easiest solution is to turn around and take another street.

You Don't Miss Whatcha Got Till It's Gone !!!!

I grew up in Detroit!!! 7 Mile ...where liquor stores, churches and hair salons were plentiful and shoot out's were not a surprise. Oddly enough I never really felt I was in danger. Despite getting robbed at the bus stop, despite a shoot out on my front lawn...( I wasn't involved) .Now don't get me wrong I don't miss any of that !!!! What I do miss......MY STYLIST.

I never thought about what it would be like to grow up in a world where I didn't have options. HAIR OPTIONS that is. Detroit is full of talented individuals ready to get their hands on your tresses....Detroit doesn't just do hair they do works of art!!!

Its a distant memory, but I remember walking out the salon swinging my hair  feeling beautiful and looking for a place to go. I remember being stopped in stores because they needed to know WHO DID MY HAIR....anything you needed to know you could find out at the salon! She was your stylist, your therapist and even sometimes a preacher . Come on the right day you could get the latest cd's , a rib dinner and a movie too.

Coming to Colorado has been amazing, but it has also been a challenge. I have met some wonderful ladies. I've had some wonderful opportunities . It's not all bad , but I tell you I miss being able to pick a reasonable spot to get my hair done. Here it's a day trip and don't fall out with a stylist if you find one because they are not easy to find!!! White stylist, black stylist , any other stylist it doesn't matter it seems like they just don't know how to handle MY hair...maybe Detroit spoiled me.

So I guess Im on a quest of learning. With a kid, a husband and a job finding ME time just isn't as easy as it used to be. So versus getting depressed ( cause that will solve nothing) I will make this yet another journey. So...my hair is shedding like a poor unkept dog...guess 1st step find some good product! Next step find some time.... pampering at home  may not be like the salon, but I might just be on to something if I can find a way to keep my hair healthy , beautiful and dyed... salt and pepper aint sexy at 35....I will find a new sense of satisifaction in knowing I never have to LOOK for another stylist again.

If all else fails...I guess I can invest in some sexy wigs! Either way Im still fabulous...."Gone with the wind fabulous that is..." Twirling off catch you guys on the next blog!

Gotta love my crazy fabulous life !!!!

2012 The Year Of Transition

AS WE END OUR YEAR many of us our making New Years resolutions. Some of us are just making plans  to party. Whichever category you fall into the reality is today is the last day of 2012. This was a year of transition for me. So many changes  and major shifts in my life . Some were good, some were bad and some where just different.

JANUARY - The year started out discouraging. My temp job at  All State Insurance had been terminated with no real reason or notice. I was not sure what I would do. I was given a new temp assignment making three dollars  less than the fifteen I was making.  I was sent to an assisted living apartment complex to file. I remember the first  day when lunch came I walked outside and called my fiance and BAWLED ! Was this the reward for all my hard work , schooling and courage to move to a new state with the man I loved? I quickly begin feeling like this was a bad move!

I worked there for a month before getting a call for a job interview at the Women's Crisis and Family Outreach Center. The entire office was cheering me on. They wanted me to get the job. I wanted  the job. I went for two interviews and YES FINALLY I was given the opportunity to work a job in my field. I was excited. In the beginning I didn't want to work the temp job, but while there I met some really great ladies that would soon become friends!

FEBRUARY- Started a new chapter in my life . A NEW JOB I was making MORE than what I made at the temp job who terminated the assignment with no notice in December. It was also much more exciting than evaluating roofing claims. I was back in my element.

I was in the process  of planning a wedding for the following month, decorating a new office and getting to know what seemed like some pretty cool coworkers! Things were officially starting to come together. This was a great time and cause for celebration.

MARCH-  Was  perhaps my biggest transition of all! March 25, 2012 I changed  the last name I had for 34 years ! I became Lynnette Marie Adams , the wife of Dorne Anthony Adams Jr.

The month seemed surreal. I could  not believe the time had finally come. We  took a road  trip to California. I would love to say my wedding was  perfect and everything I imagined it would be.........but that was not the case. California was cold. It was colder in San Diego than both Detroit and Colorado. On my wedding day it rained so hard (that was the only day it rained) that my magical bay side wedding had to be relocated inside to a hotel ballroom to avoid what seemed like a Tsunami.

It was beautiful nonetheless, but I was sad that mother nature had her final say and impeded on my lifelong dream of a wedding off the water, BUT what can I say the groom was handsome the bride was beautiful and Paradise Point Island Resort and Spa was AMAZING! My event planner rocked and the day still was fabulous!!

The hubby and I continued our road trip honeymooning in Los Angeles , dining at Mr. Chows...I don't care what anyone says the food is overpriced. We ended in Las Vegas staying at the wonderful Palms Place hotel. It was even a little cold in Las Vegas in MARCH!!! What was going on????? Either way we  had fun and had to return back to the real world !!

APRIL- Back to the real world ! Both my husband and I had new jobs. The bad news was my NEW husband was starting a job that required him to work the MIDNIGHT SHIFT...great timing right? He was working an hour away from home and I was working in the opposite direction, so where  would our new home be????

MAY- This was a month of adjustment . I was adjusting to my husbands new schedule. I was learning on my job. We were learning each other. WHO SAID...things don't change when you get married? Toward the end of May I got some news I definitely was not expecting. Not even 90 days into being a new wife, my husband informed me his 5 year old would be moving out there FULL TIME making me what??????? A FULL TIME MOTHER!!!!  Talk about scared....I had to do a crash course on becoming a parent to a little person. I read every book I could, Googled sites on parenting. I was not ready!!!! However there were no options and so I had a month to get used to the idea and prepare.

JUNE- We moved into our new place. Our new home was in Highlands Ranch, Co. and my new kid was coming. I had the pleasure  of having my mom and my aunt out to help me get everything together ! All i can say is June was tough. Everything had changed . We had went from a single engaged couple hanging with our couple friends having drinks and staying out late TO being parents , no dates, pg (Pixar) movies and early bedtimes!!! Talk about transition.

JULY-The transition continues! Growing pains, preparing for first grade and learning more on the job. Every life change that could happen ( new job, new state, marriage, children) all happened in a matter of months!

AUGUST- Was the month of hard goodbyes for me. I found out my grandmother was gravely ill. Sadly a day after my 35th birthday I lost my grandmother. I have to admit this is still something very hard for me to digest and deal with. I traveled back home to say good bye to my grandmother one of the hardest flights in my life. One day after returning to Colorado my husbands grandfather died. Back to Detroit we go this time driving me , him and the little one.

SEPTEMBER- Things were starting to get back to normal. I was rocking out at my new job. I had things to look forward to. I was making friends and getting to know my town! I was making my apartment a home. I was room mom so becoming active in school and still trying to adjust to being a wife!

OCTOBER-MY FIRST HALLOWEEN IN COLORADO!!! We took the kid trick or treating with friends, but for the most part October was a quiet month. I was finally adjusting to the shift, and everything seemed to be coming together.

NOVEMBER-Our first Thanksgiving as a married couple! We had my mother in law out and a fabulous meal ! This was definitely an upgrade from last year where I cried on the couch with a smoked sausage while my fiance was at work!

DECEMBER- The final month of 2012!!!  My family packed our bags and headed for a very blended Christmas  in Kentucky.  I will admit it was a different experience. We spent Christmas with my stepdaughters mom and her family, my mother-in-law and brother-in-law, his daughter and my mother, brother and sister. Different people from different phases of life all in one kitchen cooking and celebrating and enjoying the kids rip open their Christmas presents!

Definitely different from the 33 Christmas Eve's with Grandma  and a day of sleeping and eating Christmas Day!

The year is over....was it what I imagined it would be ....NO...but was it a year of challenge,  learning and loving ! I even grew tremendously spiritually I will say that I am truly looking forward to 2013. There were ups and downs in 2012, but I feel that now that this year of transition is over 2013 is going to be an amazing year  of growth. I have a lot to look forward to! And now with babysitting options a lot more plentiful than they were I look forward to a little more dating for the not so new newlyweds!

Happy New Year to everyone!!! I won't be making any resolutions , but I will make a pledge to focus on living healthier, loving life more, having fun in the moment and not being hard on myself when I don't meet all the goals in the time originally planned.   I have declared it MY YEAR....so 2013 is the year  of ALL GOOD.... I'm only welcoming the good in my life and rejecting any negative. I've started my vision book and what I do commit to is when 2013 year end review  comes along it's going to be full of exciting adventures!

ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE OR JUST "RELIGIOUS"

There is no secret that religion is a highly debated topic.  I am not here to debate which religion is the road to salvation, but I am going to suggest that some people subscribe to “religion” as a way to remove any self accountability from their lives. You say you don’t know this person- sure you do!  I had a work associate that constantly came to work drunk and when finally fired …HER RESPONSE was the devil always trying to hold me down. She then proceeded to say God was her provider and this was the devil just trying to discourage her. The idea of her being responsible for this never crossed her mind. Coming to work drunk, being a distraction, performing poorly was never even considered.

I do believe that we are in a position to be blessed. However this blog is not so much about your faith as it is about asking the question are you responsible for YOU? I have always been interested in learning about all religions. I was even told once I was not going to be blessed because I asked too many questions.

In my journey of self discovery, I decided to step away from my constant prayers to God for THINGS….and ask that he give me only knowledge to discern what I needed to do to be a better ME

What caught my eye in my studies were the teachings in Buddhism.  This is not a talk about conversion, but I found the teachings to be very inspiring and eye opening. Their teachings are about looking at and thinking about our own lives. It shows us how to understand ourselves and how to cope with our daily problems. 

The basic teachings of Buddha subscribe to 3 universal truths.

·         Nothing is lost in the Universe

·         Everything changes

·         Law of Cause and Effect

At the end of the day our thoughts and actions determine the kind of life we can have. NOW wonder why I could NEVER find happiness. I thought at one point everything was lost in the universe, I hate change and I would not even subscribe to the law of cause and effect.

YOU MEAN I have to be responsible for my own thoughts and actions. I used to wonder why my prayers seemingly went ignored or unanswered and why I was always getting things I felt I didn’t deserve. WHOA IS ME was my life soundtrack.  NOW DON’T MISUNDERSTAND…there are injustices in the world, but we still get a choice.

I wish I had figured this out in my early 20’s how ever I am elated that I FIGURED IT OUT…some people still don’t get it.   There will be “religious people” who can repeat every bible verse, go to every church service and still be unhappy –no matter what religion…then when they don’t see a positive solution blame it on a spiritual source.  I believe that NO MATTER what religion you should have a daily regimen of self accountability.

I have made a dedication to asking myself at the end of the day what I did today to be a better me. Did I thank the God I pray too for all the positive things he added to my life that day OR did I complain about all the things I don’t have? Did I ask the universe what can I do for you today, did I serve a purpose was I kind and compassionate? OR was I selfish, self seeking an entitled?

We all have a responsibility to give back positive energy to the universe.  I will say this learning to LOVE ME, LIKE ME and APPRECIATE that my mere presence is a beautiful gift has been a hard journey. However learning to love you creates such a wonderful path to loving others. I have been able to appreciate the flaws of others as well as the attributes and the relationships you build from that place are much more rewarding.

I am still on a journey; I am learning that loving God is also loving me and accepting that he made me the way I am for a reason. THIS also means that I must be responsible in making the most of this life and truly enjoying every minute of it. What are you doing to live and enjoy your life to the fullest? What are you doing to be self accountable for the life YOU WANT TO LEAD????

 Self discovery can be very rewarding , but you have to THROW away the box you’re trying to think outside of and ask yourself am I really open to being responsible for me….or is it easier to have something , or someone to blame for every success or failure in life?